Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Is It Time To Disconnect Or Reconnect

There have been several situations around me that have me thinking about relationships we have with people.  Because of recent deaths I have re-evaluated the importance of relationships.  A friend's child has decided to completely disconnect with everything once held dear.  Another friend has a parent that has disconnected with them causing very hurt feelings.  The question that I ask is, when do you know if it is time for you to disconnect or reconnect with people in your life?  It really is a very personal decision.  I too had disconnected with someone because of things that I was working through, but seeing these other situations caused me to really evaluate whether it was time or not to reconnect.  I did, in fact, bite the bullet, break the ice, etc. and reach out to reconnect and it was a good thing.

The other side of the coin though is knowing when to disconnect with someone who is bringing you down.  Years ago when I was in my early 20's the area I lived in was all student housing, my church Ward (or congregation) was made up of all students except for the Bishop and his 2 counselors.  The rest of the leaders for the Ward made up of the students living in the area.  Our Relief Society President (our women's organization) came over one day and after being there for only a few minutes she issued me a warning.  She told me to be careful, that my new roommate had a "darkness" around her.  Interesting I thought and then promptly forgot about the comment.

It was a month or so later when I was out with my best friend and I found myself saying really depressing things and then said something like, "I have nothing to live for."  My best friend started yelling at me that I was wrong and that I had a lot to live for and then my Relief Society President's warning came back to me and I said, "I know what this is!"  And immediately those dark feelings left me.  I had to really disconnect myself from that roommate to stay out of those dark feelings.

Not too long before my friend Stacey died she had said something that caused me t have hurt feelings.  After awhile I decided to let those feelings go and I reconnected with her, and now that she is gone, I'm so grateful that I didn't let those feelings keep me away from my friend before she died.

Is it time to reconnect or disconnect, well the answers lies in how the person makes you feel.  Do you feel dark around them, if so it is time to disconnect.  If it is light that you feel when you are arnd them, it is time to reconnect.  Sounds simple, lighter or darker with them in your life, but it isn't always that simple, but if you take a little time to evaluate how that person has made you feel in the past, you will know yur answer.

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