Tuesday, August 18, 2015

This Thing is Too Heavy

When I was listening to my scriptures the other day (I use the LDS Gospel Library app and listen while I get ready in the mornings) and I was in Exodus 18 where Moses' father-in-law comes for a visit and Moses is being a judge for the people.  Hearing this reminded me of a book on co-dependency that had referred to this scripture and pointing out that Moses was being co-dependent in this situation.  He felt that he had to do this for all the people despite the fact that he was being completely worn out.  His father-in-law says this to him:

17 . . . , The thing that thou does is not good.

18 Thou wilt surely wear away, . . . for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou are not able to perform it thyself alone.

This is exactly what a co-dependent person does, they do everything on their own and do more than they should and surely we wear away ourselves.  Then his father-in-law gives him advice to get others to rule over the thousands of people, others to rule over hundreds, others over fifties and others of tens.  He teaches Moses that he can still do what he feels like he needs to, but he doesn't have to do it alone. 

The first phase of a co-dependent cycle is feeling like we have to do a particular something, that for some reason we truly believe that no one else can do it or help us, etc.  How I have helped myself in this first phase is to write down what it is that I have to do and then being honest with myself and asking is this really something that only I can do, if not, write down who can.  Do I need to ask my spouse or hire it out to someone.  Is it something that really needs to be done at all (sometimes I just perceive that it is something I have to do when in reality it is someone else's responsibility, especially when it is something that has to do with their own lives).  It is not healthy to take on things that are "too heavy" for us, we are here to help each other.

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