I've been talking with a friend about how she doesn't have that inner self-confidence and I totally understand that, it has been an issue for me and something that I worked really hard to overcome. I remember reading the following:
5 ways to turn your "inner critic" into a powerful "inner cheerleader:"
1-Focus on what's working (keep track of accomplishments, give yourself recognition)
2-Look for lessons and opportunities in every challenge
3-Be more compassionate with yourself
4-Focus on who you are, not just what you are doing
5-Keep a winning journal (i.e., where am I winning right now, what am I really proud of, who am I becoming every day, what can I do to be my own best cheerleader? How can I encourage myself?)
I just love these ideas, but I think the thing that I like the most is the thought of turning your inner critic into your inner cheerleader. I just love cheering for people, giving them their kudos when they have done something good, giving people compliments and so on. I know it makes them feel good and it makes me feel good.
I also really like Item 3, being kind to myself has been one of the biggest lessons I had to learn. I had to understand that I would never let my daughter speak to herself the way that I talked to myself, so why should I let myself do that.
Lastly, Item 4 was really instrumental to me in my healing process. I actually came up with the line, "be before do" because I was more apt to focus on what I did, than who I was. The other day I a sign that said, "In order to be happy, be." I just loved that, another reminder that it is more important as to who you are than what you do. Becoming myself again was quite a journey and learning how to cheer myself on instead of criticizing everything I thought and did played a major role in my healing.