I scrapbook one day a week with a friend and the other day she was looking through some old pictures and saw one of herself and exclaimed how she looks like and feels like herself again. She has been losing a lot of weight and physically feels and looks like herself again, but it is more than that, it is finding again who you really are.
It wasn't too long ago that the thought, "I feel like myself" had popped into my head. I hadn't been able to say something like that in probably 8 years and it felt really good to think that thought and believe it too. I really did lose myself, not just in motherhood, like so many of us women do, but in the depths of depression, anxiety and emotional therapy.
It has taken me a long time to get to know myself again. It took a lot of therapy, journaling, prayer and going back to the things that I used to enjoy that really brought me to know myself again. Being kind to myself was also a really big step. I have learned to allow myself time to get swallowed up in the couch (I have a rule that it is only in the evenings otherwise I get stuck there all day) and allow myself that time to decompress, play games, knit, watch tv and put my feet up. I feel like myself because I'm giving myself space to do things as I feel inspired, accomplish things as I have the energy and allow myself rest time when my body says its done. I have learned that self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself. It is so nice now to look in the mirror and when I see the face there looking back at me, I know it is me.