I may have mentioned that we have an addition to the family, a teenage girl from our ward who needed somewhere to stay. She is a fun loving girl who loves people and doing things with friends. This normally wouldn't be a problem, but she has been coming home in tears a lot lately with friends at school taking advantage of her good nature. I have been talking to her about how maybe she needs to put her attention on more long-term friendships.
Yesterday when I picked her up from school she was in a really happy mood. She had decided to really focus on a few certain things like finishing high school and a few other extracuricular activities and if the people and drama at school don't fit into those focus things, she wasn't going to worry about them. It's a really good decision and I could see how it had already helped her feel better.
I shared with her an article I read in a magazine many years ago, in fact, I was probably her age at the time. In the article the author compared people to clothes in your closet. She said that every now and then you need to clean out your closet. As you go through the items you ask yourself if it complements you, if it makes you feel beautiful, if you feel good in that item and if so, you keep it. If it makes you feel the reverse, it is time to let it go. As with people, sometimes we need to take a hard look and ask ourselves if that person complements you, makes you feel worthwhile and a better person when you are with them. If not, it may be time to let the relationship go.
While letting go of any relationship is a hard thing, sometimes it is better for both of you. Not everyone we come into contact with will be in our lives forever. Clinging onto a relationship that makes you feel like less of a person isn't good for you. Just like with our closets and surrounding ourselves with clothes that makes us feel beautiful, we need to surround ourselves with people that make us feel beautiful, especially when we are struggling to feel good about ourselves.
It is okay to still be friends, just don't dwell in their negativity and drama with them. It's kind of like being in your sweats, its okay to be them for awhile, but not all day, every day, it will bring you down. As my favorite saying goes, "if you want a beautiful life, make every square inch of it beautiful." I think that goes with relationships and with clothes.