Thursday, December 12, 2013

Listening to My Body and Myself

I have been having a lot of stomach problems and have been to several doctors, one recently in which I left in tears. It all started just over a year ago with a burping problem, I know really embarrassing, but unfortunately this is my problem. When my burping problem started it was just in the evenings where I would burp non-stop for about three hours. Sometimes the burps would come so fast and furious that I could hardly get a breath in.   About six months later the problem started happening all day long.

There were also three different instances where I had such severe pain that I almost went to the ER, but after about an hour or so the pain would start to subside.  My regular doctor put me on a daily dose of Prilosec, but the problem has persisted with it only marginally getting better.   After the third episode of intense stomach pain my husband talked me into seeing a specialist.

I finally made it in to a specialist, but I was so angry and upset by the time I left that I didn't want to go back.   He was absolutely convinced that my burping problem was just me swallowing air (my niece pointed out that for over 40 years I have been able to swallow just fine, but all the sudden I don't know how to do it anymore, I don't think so) and he was certain that when they did an endoscopy that everything would be just fine and that the intense stomach pain I have had was probably just an esophageal spasm.   He told me that he has been doing this for 30 years and he was certain of all of this.

I did go ahead and schedule the endoscopy even though I was so upset with this doctor because I had promised my husband that I would get it looked at.   I ended up having to reschedule the endoscopy and while I was on the phone with the doctor's office I asked if it was possible to switch to one of the other doctors on staff.  The nurse cleared it for me and we rescheduled with a different doctor.

The new doctor was a little surprised to see me at the endoscopy having never seen me before but understood my reasoning for switching to him. He was so much better, he believed me and wanted to help me get to the bottom of the problem. After the endoscopy he told me that they found a hiatal hernia and inflammation of the stomach of which they took a biopsy. He has me going to do a CT scan using contrast for a closer look at the gallbladder, etc. and he has me going back in a few weeks to do a colonoscopy (yeah, super excited for that one).

So, unlike the first specialist who was convinced there was nothing wrong with me, there were a few problems which the new specialist said may or may not be causing the burping and/or pain.  He wants all the tests completed and then we will go from there.  This doctor listened to me and cared about finding out what was going on instead of just blowing me off.   In the past I would have just listed to the first specialist and then suffered through all of this.  I have a friend who says that you are your best doctor and I need to remember that it is okay to fight for myself and keep going until I find someone who believes in helping me.  The other thing to remember is that when you are feeling pain, it is the body telling you something and I need to listen. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Worry - A Debt You May Never Owe

When I was on Pinterest last night I saw this quote:

Worry is the interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe.

This quote really made an impression on me, especially the last part about how you may never owe it.  I am a true worrying in every sense of the word.  I have been trying to work on it and I am so much better than I used to be.  I used to lie in bed mulling over different scenarios of what could happen in different situations.  How exhausting!  Dean Hawkes had this to say about worrying:

Half the worry in the world is caused by people in the world trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.

I had never really thought about it that way, worrying is thinking over and over about something that you don't have enough information so instead of doing nothing but worrying, take action instead.  Walter B. Cannon has a great system to get past the worry:

We must equip ourselves to deal with different kinds of worries by learning the three basic steps of problem analysis.  The three steps are:  1) Get the facts; 2) Analyze the facts; and 3) Arrive at a decision and act.

I'm sure I have mentioned this before so I hope you don't mind my mentioning it again, but my therapist once told me that I have a really good imagination, too bad it is so negative.  Worry is just your imagination gone wild.  I have come to terms with my worry and when I start to worry, I tell myself that it is either a past way of thinking or my imagination working overtime and to get the facts first before I go any further with the thinking.  Worry truly is a debt you may never owe, so why try paying it?

Monday, November 11, 2013

Using My Reminder App to Feel Successful

I have been working on getting myself back into a system and one of the tools that I have been really using lately is the "Reminder" app on my ipad.  I tend to bury myself all day in a project, but lately I have been breaking things down into small increments.  So for example I timed my chores and divided them into smaller amounts to do each day.  With my business I have just done the same thing, broken all the tasks down into smaller increments and I even time myself so that I will do a little bit of everything each day. 

I had to laugh at myself because not only was I organizing my days and tasks, but I was organizing the organization of those tasks.  Sounds crazy, but what I was doing was creating forms so that I could stay on top of things.  With my business I came up with a 3-2-1 plan, so that I was ordering my supplies 1 month in advance, creating my samples 2 months in advance and planning the samples 3 months in advance.  The form I created just helps me keep track of that so that I know what to work on next as it seems lately I just don't quite know what to do with myself.  Now I just look at the forms and know what is next on the list, and the best part, I am getting ahead!  I'm also getting ahead on my church callings and household tasks.  If for some reason I don't know what to do next (when I down or overwhelmed this really helps) I can open up my reminder app and look at the list. 

You know it is funny that years ago I lived for my To Do List, I had no spontaneity at all and I wasn't paying attention to those around me like I should have, the To Do List had to get done.  Now my list is more of like my Ideal Day, if things go well, this is how it would go, if not, it isn't a big deal.  I have my tasks on the Reminder app on a repeating cycle so if for some reason I didn't get to something it isn't a big deal and I check it off anyway because I know it is going to pop up again.  If it is important, I leave unchecked until I do get it done.

This system is making me feel better and more like the old me that used to be on top of everything.  The last few years with the depression I have felt so unaccomplished and unsuccessful, but now I feel like I am doing more and being more and I love how that feels.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Fabulous Birthday

I really did have a fabulous 50th Birthday.  In the morning we had our Ward's Super Saturday (my projects are on my other blog renaecreates.blogspot.com) where all the ladies sang happy birthday to me and a few friends brought me some gifts.  I came home to Oreo cookies and tomato and basil chips from my husband and these decorations in my scrapbook room from Taylor.
I spent the afternoon on the phone with my daughter, my mom and my friend Stacey.  I also got calls and texts later from a couple of my sisters as well as tons of well wishes on Facebook.  My husband took me shopping and he bought me some diamond earrings and a beautiful ring.  He then took me to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory which I got my favorites Cheese, Tomato & Basil pizza as well as the Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake, so yummy.
 
That night I came home to these beautiful flowers from my son and the most beautiful cupcake I have ever seen from Hannah.  It was indeed a fabulous day!



Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Punching Bag

I started getting out anger feelings using a punching bag, but lately I haven't wanted to do it.  Then a thought popped into my head that my mom says, "when you don't feel like praying, that is when you need to do it the most."  So I changed it to, "when you don't feel like punching, that is when you need to do it the most."  Punching gets the anger out of my body, I don't even think anger thoughts to start with, I just put on aggressive music and start, before I know it anger is coming out.  The song I use is 6 minutes long, so I punch as much as I can in those 6 minutes.  I know I need to keep getting out what is in me, so a punching I will go!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Fabulous Fifties

October is here and my birthday is this month, and it's a biggie!  This month I turn 50, I can hardly believe it!  I have had a few people ask me what I am going to do for this birthday, not really sure yet.  I do know that I have Super Saturday in my Ward that day so I get to spend the morning being creative, which will be fun.  The rest of the day I'm still working on. 

When I turned 40, I did it at Disneyland and it was so much fun!  But then again, that was my goal "Fun at 40."  Not sure I accomplished a lot of that as that's when my break down happened, therapy, depression and so much more.  I certainly re-learned my definition of fun so I suppose that is a good thing.

I've decided that at 50 I want to be Fabulous, so that is my goal for this next year.  My goal is to think fabulous thoughts, do things that make me feel and look fabulous, hope you do something fabulous too!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Crazy Few Weeks

Wow, it has been a crazy few weeks!  About a month ago my son was in a car accident, he wasn't hurt, but his car was and our insurance company tried to total it.  The thing was it wasn't damaged very much, but more than they deemed the vehicle was worth.  Needless to say I spent several weeks fighting with our insurance company and I finally won out.  So off to the shop his car finally went.

While his car was in the shop, we took a quick trip to Disneyland as a graduation present for one of my girls before the other one headed back to college.  We took my son's girlfriend with us which made for a fun, crazy group.

The day after we got back home, my daughter and I left to drive back to college.  It is a 12 hour drive which makes for a long trip by yourself, so I drove with her for the first 8 hours.  She dropped me off at the Boise Airport and I took a flight back home (benefit of my husband working for an airline) while she drove the last 4 hours on her own.

Then I spent the next week working and also creating some things for our Ward's Super Saturday (I'll be putting those projects up on renaecreates.blogspot.com soon) and then a weekend of workshops, weddings, a temple trip and my niece and her children staying over a few nights.  Super fun, but super crazy busy. 

I've also been extremely tired and I have had to evaluate what is going on with my body to be so tired.  I have noticed a couple of things, my jaw has been really sore when I wake up in the morning and I have been remembering a lot of crazy dreams.  Once I started paying attention to the signs my body was trying to give me, I realized that I am stressing (thus the clenching my teething while I am sleeping and sometimes during the day) and worrying (thus the fatigue as I am in my dream state worrying, more than I am getting into that deep restful sleep).

I got a blessing not to long ago and I was told that I need to keep getting out what is in me.  Well, that thought keeps popping up in my head and I realize that I am not doing that at all.  I haven't been getting in my journaling, exercising or even just talking things out with friends, my therapist or on my blog.  Once again I am reminded that I am not partaking in the self-care that I so desperately need, so, once again, I will get back on track and hopefully stay there longer than I seem to.  If at first you don't succeed . . .

Friday, August 30, 2013

What Aren't You Organizing?

I have been on a major reorganization kick here at my house, not sure why I love doing that, but I just really do.  Anyway, as I have been organizing I keep thinking about the book "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?" written by Peter Walsh of Clean Sweep fame.  It is a great book I would highly recommend it.  In the book there is a quiz on your organization skills, styles, etc.  I remember when I finished the quiz, I was so proud of myself as I had all but 1 or 2 items not scored high as I am a very organized person.  Then as I read on I was shocked by the next question Peter Walsh poses.  It wasn't a "way to go you are so organized" type of thing, it was more like a "great you have organization in some things, but what about the things you aren't organizing and why aren't you organizing them" thing.

This wasn't something I had ever really considered.  I organized everything in my life, except one area.  The one thing I wasn't organizing was food and menu planning.  You see, food wasn't really that important to me, other than trying to get my family fed properly, but as for myself, just give me a bowl of cereal and I was happy.  I knew I needed to figure out what the problem was with food and menu planning and I set out on a journey to discover what the reasoning was behind my desire to organize everything in my life, but food and menu planning.  Surprisingly to me, I had some deep emotional issues connected to it that I had to work on resolving.  I also had to find tools to help me organize the food area of my life because it wasn't something that came naturally to me like most organization does.  I got a menu planning app, Big Oven, which helps me plan my menus and shopping lists which has probably been the most helpful too, but I also use MyFitnessPal app to pay attention to the food that I do it (let's face it just eating cereal is not very healthy).  I also organized our freezer and fridge so that I know where things are (much to my family's chagrin because I love labels). 

These steps have all helped and I am doing much better in this area.  So how about you, what is it that you aren't organizing in your life and why not?  It is not a question or journey to the answer to take lightly, but it is definitely eye opening!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Acceptance In Behalf Of Your Children

My therapist had told me that I have a really good imagination but that it was too bad that I use that imagination.  So this is something I have been working on, but with my children (who aren't children any more) I still can't help but think of the worst, especially when they call me (usually they just text me) I am always afraid it's going to be "I was just in a car accident."  To my dismay, when I answered a phone call from my son the other day that is exactly what he said.  Luckily, he wasn't hurt, just shaken up.

After he returned home we talked for a long time about the experience and we both came to the conclusion that it was a wake-up call for him, that it was time for him to move forward in his life on many things he had been avoiding.  This is also when I thought about one of my favorite quotes, but with a twist.

You much accept that what [your child is] going through is exactly what [they] need to experience to grow spiritually and once you accept that it takes the drama out of the situation.

This quote has helped me many times in my life personally, but I see now it is time for me to use it in my life where my children are concerned.  As they are all adults now I am not in as much of a position to protect them like I could when they were little and that is really hard to accept.  But, I do know that my Heavenly Father has repeatedly promised me that He will watch over them and protect them, can't ask for anything more than that.  So it is time for me to accept that their experiences are exactly what they need and will help them grow in ways nothing else could.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Bland Diet

A couple of weeks ago I was eating dinner and suddenly felt really nauseous then a half-hour later my stomach started really hurting plus a few other obnoxious symptoms as well started.  The only time I felt okay was when I was laying on my stomach or doubled over.  This had happened to me once before, but by the next morning it was gone.  Not this time, it lasted all the next day and into the next so it was off to the doctor I went.  They did a bunch of tests and sent me home with a prescription for an over abundance of stomach acid.  It took about two days, but finally I started to feel better and when I went back for a follow-up appointment after a week I was feeling so much better, or so I thought.  A few hours after my appointment it all started up again, not near as bad, but still a problem.

My doctor had put me on a bland diet in addition to the medication.  I didn't really think about it much, I just thought bland, you know the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce and toast).  I cut out all the citrus, tomato, spicy foods, chocolate (which makes me very sad) and no eating two hours before bedtime as well.  I have to admit the first few days I actually lost a few pounds which was kind of nice, but that didn't last very long.  I had still been eating my almonds, that I just love, and lots of fruit, just not citrus.

Since I was in pain again, I decided I had better research "bland diet" and see if I was doing anything wrong.  Turns out I was doing a lot of things wrong, no seeds or nuts, and here I was eating my almonds when my stomach started hurting, oops!  Oh, and those strawberries I have been eating, a big no-no.  Oh my gosh, no wondering some of my symptoms were lingering, I wasn't helping out my poor stomach at all!  I may have been eating bland, but it turns out that I need to be even more bland.  So another revamp to my diet cutting out the seeds and nuts that I love to eat, most of the raw fruits and vegetables (luckily there are a few that are okay) and I am starting to feel better again. 

My daughter has a lot of the same stomach problems, just not as bad as this, but we have both learned so much through this and what to do when our stomach starts telling us there is a problem via pain.  Isn't that what they say, when you are in pain, your body is talking to you and you had better listen.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Down Days

Last week I had a great day on Monday, I got so much done and I was thrilled.  I don't seem to get those days very much any more.  At the end of the day I was telling my husband everything that I got done, how great I felt and how I wanted it to be like that all week.  He expressed concern that I had done too much and he wondered that wouldn't I need to recuperate the next day.  I was unconcerned though, I just knew I could keep it up like I have in the past.  I had a plan and I was excited about it.

Tuesday I got up and went with my plan and by mid-day I was running thin on energy and focus, but I was determined and pushed myself and again got a lot done.  Then Wednesday morning I tried to stick to my plan, but I couldn't even concentrate.  My thoughts were all muddled, I couldn't figure out what I was doing and I felt "down" with no real reason why.  I finally admitted to myself that I couldn't do anything and I went and laid down for awhile and the day just went downhill from there. 

These are the days that I call "down" days, I feel down but have no apparent reason for it.  I could not pull myself out of it.  I talked to my husband for a long time about it and how it frustrates me so much.  I want so much to be my old self, getting things done and feeling like I contribute to the world around me.  I am not sure what brought it on, did I do too much the few days before and not give myself some decent recovery time, was it dealing with a few things at therapy on Monday, probably all of the above, but I don't really know why the down days happen.

Thursday morning I woke still feeling the same way, but I knew I had some things I really did need to get done.  I moved slowly, but eventually made it into my work room and tried to work.  Unfortunately, my body and brain weren't having it.  I had been in my room for just over an hour when my daughter, who was away at college, wanted to Skype.  I spent the next several hours on Skype with her.  She was doing some school things, I was trying to do my work and we talked as we worked which was really nice.  I told her what I was doing and since it is Skype, I could show her what I was trying to do as well and she even gave me some input.  Before I knew it the "down" feeling was gone and I was back on track. 

To be honest, I don't know how to avoid them in the future other than realizing I am just not going to be how I used to be and quit trying to push myself despite that.  I guess it is just realizing I have a new normal and it is not getting tons done every single day.  The new normal is getting things done when I feel good, taking time to recover and being gentle with myself when I have a down day.  It is not the "normal" that I want, but I guess I don't have much of a choice.  So, here it is Monday again, and I will just try again, it is the best I can do and that has to be enough.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Spotting a Co-dependent Persecutor

This morning I was reading from a new book that my therapist loaned me called "The Conscious Heart" by Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and found this quote:

"We found only three maddening role possibilities if we weren't taking full, healthy responsibility: persecutor, rescuer, or victim."

I found this really interesting because those are the same three phases of a co-dependent cycle with a slight adjustment from persecutor to persecuted.  I had recently been thinking about the people in my life who had been my co-dependent persecutors, those who somehow had the knack for knowing how to take advantage of my co-dependent rescuing ways.

This past week I found myself in a situation that was confrontational in nature and if you know me, you know that I absolutely hate confrontation.  But because of where I was at in the moment, I found myself very angry and hurt and actually spoke my mind (so did my daughter who is worse than me about confrontation so I was really proud of her).  Anyway, later as I was thinking about the person who I had the conflict with, I realized how many similarities there were in the situation to a very unhealthy co-dependent connection I had with an old boss many years ago.

The definition of a persecutor would be someone who tries to oppress or harass someone else.  In Wikipedia it says that a co-dependent person is controlled and/or manipulated by another who is typically a narcissist or suffering from an addition.  So to sum up my definition of a co-dependent persecutor is someone who tries to control, manipulate, harass and/or oppress another.

The interesting thing is that there are people all around us who fit this definition from one degree to another and they may try their tactics on many people, but if you are healthy emotionally you will not fall into their trap, unfortunately the co-dependent person will.

Being aware of these types of people and recognizing them when you meet them will also help you not fall into old co-dependent cycles.  I thought it was interesting how in Wikipedia it also said that narcissists are natural magnets for the co-dependent person.  How do you repel these types of people when you come across them?  Well, I am sure there are lots of ways, but I looked up how magnets repel each other and found this description: they repel when similar poles (+ or -) are placed near each other.  That made me think about how the narcissist thinks so highly of themselves, so wouldn't it make sense that if you thought highly of yourself (maybe not as high as a narcissist does) then it would be two similar poles, both positive, therefore the narcissist wouldn't be attracted.  Anyway something to think about.

In the end, this week I learned that I believe more in myself than I used to as I was able to stand up for myself.  I learned how to start spotting a co-dependent persecutor.  And I learned how brave my amazing daughter is!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Taylor Graduates

 
The last months or so of Taylor's Senior year of High School were crazy, frustrating and emotional, but she made it and that makes me smile!

Monday, June 17, 2013

Mid-Life Crisis

I was talking to my daughter on the phone the other day and she was having what we lovingly call a "melt-down."  She is in college and feeling lost, should she stick with her chosen major, should she change it, what classes should she take, how is she going to pay for all those classes and more.  She was telling me about a video she watched about people in her age bracket having a "Quarter-Life Crisis."  Now I don't know which video she was watching, but here is one of the many that I found on YouTube.



I had never heard of a Quarter-Life Crisis, but as she talked and shared how she was feeling I was thinking about how similar I was feeling.  I am not 18-25 when apparently this phenomenon can happen, but I did realize that I am in the age range where people do experience a mid-life crisis.  We are now an empty nest for the most part (our kids are coming and going from college, jobs, missions, etc.) and I have been a stay-at-home mom for years.  What is a stay-at-home mom supposed to do, when the mom part of the equation is no longer needed?  Am I now just a stay-at-home woman?  Now I know my kids would say they still need me, as in the melt-down phone call from my daughter the other day.  But let's face it, I am no longer driving kids back and forth to school, helping out in class, going on field trips, driving kids to sporting practices and events, church activities and so much more.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my free time, but the problem is, I am not quite sure what to do with it.  Should I get a job, should I push my stamping and scrapbooking business more, should I keep pursuing being a professional organizer, do I focus most of my time on community service or a mix of all of those things.  Like my daughter, I am feeling lost, I am feeling like I am not sure what direction to go.  I keep praying and keep trying things, but so far I don't have strong feelings for one direction or another.

At church yesterday there was something in one of our lessons that really struck a chord with me about feeling success.  Honestly, other than having amazing children, I feel like all my other endeavors have been failures.  In Lesson 11 of Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow, it said this:

There is a course that men and women may pursue wherein there will be no failure.  Whatever disappointments may arise or seeming failures may result, there will be in reality no failure, as a general thing. . . .  There have been times when it seemed as though we were moving backward; at least, it has to those who were not fully enlightened in regard to the mind and will of God.  The Church has passed through very strange experiences, and the people have made great sacrifices. . . .  But we have come along through these sacrifices, and as a people there has been no failure.  Why has there been no failure?  Because the people, as a whole, have had their minds fixed upon the true principles of life, and they have conformed to their duty. . . .  The people generally have had the Spirit of the Lord, and have followed it.  Hence there has been no failure.  So it may be with individuals.  There is a course for every person to pursue in which there will be no failure.  It will apply to temporal as well as spiritual matters.  The Lord has given us the keyword in these verses that I have read from the Book of Doctrine and Covenants:  "If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you, and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.  Therefore sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God." [D&C 88:67-68]

It meant a lot to me when I read "there will be in reality no failure" as my Heavenly Father gently reminded me that though I am not a huge financial success, I have tried to do most things in my life with Him in mind.  Granted I am still in my apparent mid-life crisis, I still don't quite know what to do with myself and I still am feeling lost.  But I also believe that I will find my way, I will see the direction my Heavenly Father would have me go as long as I keep seeking His will in all I do.   Now, what to do next, I guess I should at least go do the dishes . . . baby steps!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

New Car

 
Adam being so happy about his new car, a 2002 Isuzu Trooper, makes me smile!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Being a Daffodil Chaperone

Megan, Princess Taylor, Princess Jesse, Me
This year I had the opportunity to be a Daffodil Festival Chaperone.  My daughter and I took turns driving the Sumner, White River and Bonney Lake Princesses to their many events.

Megan and I enjoyed every minute with Princess Jesse, Princess Taylor and Princess Marissa!  They made us laugh constantly, which made our long drives so much more enjoyable.  Between Megan and I, over a two month period, we drove these lovely Princesses to numerous events logging in almost 2,000 miles, not to mention the many hours watching over them at these events.  We both fell in love with these girls! 


Some of the Chaperones:  Me, June, Demetria, Lisa, Anitra
I also met some of the most amazing ladies who were Daffodil Festival Chaperones.  Some, like me, were experiencing this for the first time (many of them were also 2012 Princess moms, so we already knew each which was really fun).  Many of the chaperones had been chaperones for many years.  All of these women were so amazing and were so willing to share their fuel and time sometimes on a moments notice.  Their kindness, generosity and devotion are truly something to behold!  I enjoyed their company so much and miss seeing them already.

Thank you 2013 Daffodil Princesses and Chaperones for making this an amazing experience.

Our beautiful princesses:  Princess Taylor, Princess Jesse, Princess Marissa

Missing you!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Lacrosse

 
My daughter joined the BYUI Lacrosse team, this makes me smile!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Consistent Cleaning of Our Spiritual Windows

Windows must be washed regularly to clean away dust and dirt. . . .  Just as earthly windows need consistent, thorough cleaning, so do the windows of our spirituality. . . .  By partaking of the sacrament worthily to renew our baptismal covenants, we clarify our view of life's eternal purpose and divine priorities.  The sacrament prayers invite personal introspection, repentance, redidication as we pledge our willingness to remember our Savior, Jesus the Christ.  Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Rose

 
My son brought home this rose for me for Mother's Day and that really made me smile!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Calorie Count

I was watching Good Morning America a few weeks ago and saw a story about Trisha Yearwood and how she recently lost weight.  The thing that stuck in my brain was that she stuck to 1200 calories per day.  I had just gained even more weight being at a new all-time high and this was just what I needed to hear to get me going.  My doctor had told me that the best way to lose weight that she knew of was to use a food diary which I have done on and off.  I had also started back on my Plate Method of eating, but was really hit and miss with that too.  So hearing about Trisha Yearwood's vigilance on the 1200 calorie limit made me wonder how I was doing and I made a goal to do my food journal every day.

I have used My Fitness Pal on and off for a few years, so I went back to what I know.  But in order to make it be a priority, I rearranged the app on my phone so it is one of the first apps that I see.  On my Ipad I rearranged my apps so only My Fitness Pal was at the bottom and is always where I can see it.

They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, I don't know if that is really true or not, but I have now been logging my food in My Fitness Pal for that many days.  It is interesting that in the beginning I was really shocked to see my numbers, 2400, 2500, 2200 calories per day.  No wonder I was gaining weight, I was taking in so many more calories than I realized.  During my really bad depression time period I was only taking in about 600 calories per day, again, no wonder I gained weight, my body thought it was starving and so it was hoarding all the fat.  Definitely time for somewhere in the middle.

After the first week of journaling my food, I started decreasing my calories a little more and more until I was consistently in the 1200 range.  Also, I took a pen and wrote on a picture the plate method I have sitting where I eat for a general idea of how to split up those calories as I realized that I needed to know where to stop or I wouldn't leave myself many calories for dinner.  Another thing I found was the "Complete This Entry" button in My Fitness Pal on the food journal page.  I had never used it in the past because I thought I might always have more entries to make.  What I really like about it is that when you push the button you get a little note that based on your calories for the day, in 5 weeks your estimated weight would be [blank].  Since I discovered this little tool, I have used it every day.  The interesting thing is that if you don't eat enough that day, you get a message like the one in this picture.  So I make sure that I am not under the 1200 calories and not too much over it.

I find myself talking about my calorie count now, not my weight, not my diet, just my calorie count for the day.  I am still eating a lot of yummy things, just more balanced and in smaller amounts.  So in my first 21 days I have lost 3.4 lbs so far.  Needless to say, I have a long ways to go, but something elses I liked that Trisha Yearwood said, was that she had no final weight goal in mind, this was just what she was going to do for life. 

This is a life plan, not a diet plan and seeing the numbers during the day is so helpful, I can actually see what I am doing.  When I am out I use the app on my phone, when I am home I use the app on my Ipad or go to the website myfitnesspal.com on my computer.  I have no excuses because I have an easy to track what I am eating with me at all times.  You can also join up with friends, so if anyone wants to join me, my user name is rmcbarro and you can also connect it through Facebook, so find me!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Standing Up For Myself

Many years ago I worked for a company that had an owner who liked to intimidate his employees. One particular situation I was just thinking about which was when he called the receptionist into his office and in front of several other employees he threw a pile of messages at her and then yelled his complaints about the notes to her and demanded that she pick them up off the floor. When I first heard about this situation, I remember my immediate reaction of what I would have done had I been that receptionist. I would have turned around and grabbed my things and left that office never to return.

I don't think that anyone deserves to be treated like that at work or any where else. I also believe that we should stand up for ourselves and that receptionist should have, but she did as she was told and got down on the floor and picked up the messages in front of all those other employees. I am not a confrontational person, I hate it in fact.  In the past, I have stood in the shadows hoping to not create or confront difficult situations, but I have many times stood up for myself to the point of at least walking away.

Since therapy over the last few years, I have learned how to do more than walk away (oh, funny, the lyrics "just walk away Renae" popped into my head) to stand up for myself.  I have learned how to use my words and feelings and to do so in an appropriate way.  No screaming or yelling, but allowing some time to pull together my thoughts and then approaching the situation maturely and honestly.  In the past, I would have just stewed on the situation and let it fester until I wanted to explode or run and hide.

A recent situation made me want to do both explode and run and hide, but I didn't.  I stood up for myself, I used my words, I made sure I was calm before using those words and I stood up for how I felt.  I still feel angry, I still want to run and hide, but I didn't and I know my therapist would be proud of me.  Approaching difficult situations is really hard for me, but I stood up for myself, talk about making progress, I am actually proud of myself for doing so and I can see the strength that I wouldn't have had in the past.  Standing up for yourself doesn't have to be a huge thing, just knowing that you did what you knew in your heart was the right thing to do is what is important and I feel like that is just what I did.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Return With Honor

 
My son returned home today from his mission in Vitoria, Brazil!  I'm so excited!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

We Know Them to Be True

"We all have experiences with the Holy Ghost, even though we may not always recognize them.  As inspired thoughts come into our minds, we know them to be true by the spiritual feelings that enter into our hearts."  Craig C. Christensen, An Unspeakable Gift from God, General Conference, October 2012.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Asking The Right Question

I can't quite figure out what is going on with me right now.  I keep asking myself, is it because the sky's have been grey all winter, is it because my son is coming home from his 2 year church mission in Brazil soon, maybe I need a medication adjustment?  So much has been going on around here for awhile and maybe it is just that.  All I know is that I am not okay and it is high time that I do something about it!  I started back to therapy and being able to unload about the last few months was a huge help.  Then realizing that I haven't been doing any of my Breathe strategies (I know, broken record here) again which leads me to this amazing quote from Michael Yapko in his book "Hand Me Down Blues":

"Realize that much more is required of you to manage despression well, . . . specifically learning and applying key antidepressant concepts and skills."

I absolutely love the phrase "antidepressant concepts and skills" and as I reread that I realize that they are skills and I haven't been practice the concepts that I have learned, they haven't become skills yet for me because I haven't been using them.  Another great quote by this same author in his book "Breaking the patterns of depression" he says:

"Depression is often associated with errors in judgment about control issues.  The errors will usually take one of two forms; not controlling things that could be controlled, or trying to control things that cannot be controlled. . . .  Mastering what is and is not in your control will help manage your depression well."

This is definitely something I have had problems with in the past, being able to control things makes everything feel safer, but it is the trying to control what cannot be controlled that creates the craziness in my life.  My therapist is always trying to get me to flow more.  Flow with how the day leads me, it is when I am forcing things that I start feeling the anxiety.  Flowing with the day is controlling me, not the craziness around me, which I cannot control anyway.  Michael Yaptko goes on to say:

"Depression is not about bad events in the past, it's about how you interpreted those events and the skills you didn't have at the time for dealing with them.  Make changes now and learn skills now so that things will be better from now on. . . .   Don't ignore your own needs.  Depression often comes about from letting your inner world become imbalanced, because you invest more and more heavilty in others or in external situations."

I have definitely let my inner world become imbalanced!  Instead of asking how can I control this situation, I need to be asking myself what is it that I need right now.  That is the real question after all isn't it?  What anti depression skill do I need to be using right now to get through this moment, not what do I think I need to control right now.  What do I need right now to help me feel better, not what is wrong with me.  The right question is what do I need, definitely not what is wrong with me!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Experience the Joy That Should Be Yours

"You may want to ask yourself if you are merely going through the motions as a [daughter of God] what is expected but not experiencing the joy that should be yours."  Dieter F. Uchtdorf  [I changed the "priesthood bearer" to daughter of God so that it applies to me]

Friday, March 22, 2013

Something Extraordinary

This was shown last night at our Relief Society Birthday Celebration and it touched me so much!
 
 

Sunday, March 17, 2013

He sends messages

Your needs are great and varied. Each of you is a unique child of God. God knows you individually. He sends messages of encouragement, correction, and direction fitted to you and to your needs.

Henry B. Eyring

Monday, March 11, 2013

First Jobs

My daughter has been working her first job for over a month now and it has been interesting watching her grow and change with the experience.  At first, she wasn't sure that it was worth it, then she got her first paycheck and decided that maybe it was.  It isn't the funnest job in the world, but what first job is?  It has been fun talking to others about what their first jobs were.  My husband for instance, summer jobs were in Alaska fishing or working on a fishing boat.  A friend said her first job was identifying roadkill (not sure what the purpose was in that).  I was really lucky in my first jobs, at 13 my gymnastics teacher started paying me to help her with some of the little kids in some of her other classes.  Then at 15 I started working at the SCERA Theater, but I didn't get paid for it because it was a community theater and I only worked one day a week.

I loved working at the community theater, it was just one of those old, beautiful one movie theaters.  It had a candy counter that I mostly worked at, but there was also a counter where you could get a malted shake and every now and then I got to work there.  My favorite shake was the Iron Port which was essentially a red cream soda malted shake, so yummy!

With my affiliation with the community theater, sometimes during the summer they would send me over to the community pool to work as well.  Now that was fun, the smell of the chlorinated pool water and the kids all so happy.  It was practically a tradition to buy candy after a day at the pool and that is what I would do when I worked there.

When I was 16 a friend of mine was working in the new movie theater that had 2 screens, that was a big deal then.  Anyway, she told me they had an opening so I went in to talk to her boss and he hired me.  This is where I lived much of my life for the next 4 years, it is a place that is firmly planted in my heart.  Friends, fun and film, what more could you ask for in a first job? 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Consistently Be What You Want To Be

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day. Elder Richard G. Scott

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Relationships and Clothes

I may have mentioned that we have an addition to the family, a teenage girl from our ward who needed somewhere to stay.  She is a fun loving girl who loves people and doing things with friends.  This normally wouldn't be a problem, but she has been coming home in tears a lot lately with friends at school taking advantage of her good nature.  I have been talking to her about how maybe she needs to put her attention on more long-term friendships.

Yesterday when I picked her up from school she was in a really happy mood.  She had decided to really focus on a few certain things like finishing high school and a few other extracuricular activities and if the people and drama at school don't fit into those focus things, she wasn't going to worry about them.  It's a really good decision and I could see how it had already helped her feel better.

I shared with her an article I read in a magazine many years ago, in fact, I was probably her age at the time.  In the article the author compared people to clothes in your closet.  She said that every now and then you need to clean out your closet.  As you go through the items you ask yourself if it complements you, if it makes you feel beautiful, if you feel good in that item and if so, you keep it.  If it makes you feel the reverse, it is time to let it go.  As with people, sometimes we need to take a hard look and ask ourselves if that person complements you, makes you feel worthwhile and a better person when you are with them.  If not, it may be time to let the relationship go. 

While letting go of any relationship is a hard thing, sometimes it is better for both of you.  Not everyone we come into contact with will be in our lives forever.  Clinging onto a relationship that makes you feel like less of a person isn't good for you.  Just like with our closets and surrounding ourselves with clothes that makes us feel beautiful, we need to surround ourselves with people that make us feel beautiful, especially when we are struggling to feel good about ourselves.

It is okay to still be friends, just don't dwell in their negativity and drama with them.  It's kind of like being in your sweats, its okay to be them for awhile, but not all day, every day, it will bring you down.  As my favorite saying goes, "if you want a beautiful life, make every square inch of it beautiful."  I think that goes with relationships and with clothes.

Monday, March 4, 2013

A New Purpose

I have been really struggling with what to write in this blog lately (as clearly evidenced by the lack of posts the last few weeks) and didn't know what to do about it. A few days ago I decided to research the general topic of blogging. I read through some great articles on blog planning, content and more. As I was reading through all these various articles one topic kept popping up which was asking what your blog's purpose is. It was then that I realized why I have been struggling, my blog purpose had changed and I hadn't even realized it. When I first started this blog I had been going to therapy for several years and my purpose was to post what I was learning in therapy. Well, here I am a few years later and I am no longer in therapy, at least for now, never say never, right! Anyway, I realized that I have changed a lot and therefore my blog needed to change as well.

I took a lot of notes in my research and I have done a lot of thinking and praying as to what new purpose my blog needed to have.  I came up with three things that I would like to accomplish via this blog and the first one is to Reduce Stress and writing helps me reduce my stress.  It shocks my family how much I like to write as none of them do, but for me it helps me clear out my thoughts and I definitely need to do that often as I think way too much.

The second thing I would like to accomplish through this blog is to increase my spirituality by putting spiritual thoughts on this blog I find that I am starting to pay more attention to the spiritual things in my life and I would like to keep doing that and increase that content.

Lastly, I would like to share my life, lessons I have learned and how I have grown through my challenges, if for no other reason than to leave something of a legacy for my children but I hope that my experiences and thoughts will helps others along the way as well.

I didn't expect to have growing pains on my blog, but I did and it took several months to work through it and I am sure I will have several more ahead.  I feel like I am entering a new phase in my life.  I had my years of therapy, anxiety and depression which feel like the worst of those years are behind me (one can always hope) and it is time to live what I have learned!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

You Matter to Him

Good sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season--He sees you as His child.  He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become.  He wants you to know that you matter to him.   Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Recapture Inner Peace

If we have strayed from the track, we can change, we can return, and we can recapture our joy and our inner peace. We will discover that returning to the track from which the land mines have been removed brings enormous relief.  Patrick Kearon

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Our Most Important Message

Our most important message, which we are both divinely commissioned and commanded to take everywhere in the world, is that there is a Savior. He lived in the meridian of time. He atoned for our sins, was crucified, and was resurrected.  L. Whitney Clayton

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Time to Refocus

Brothers and sisters, indeed we have great reason to rejoice. If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Monday, February 4, 2013

Princess Taylor

 
Seeing Taylor at Promenade being declared an Official Daffodil Princess this weekend really made me smile!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

The World as It Really Is

As my heart sorrowed for him, I realized he does not see the world as it really is—a place of joy and happiness, of true friendships where faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to His teachings invite the Holy Ghost to prompt correct decisions.  From Elder Richard G. Scott's article To Be Free of Heavy Burdens in the November 2002 Ensign.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Wishing Well

 
Yesterday when I was driving to church I drove past the 2012 Daffodil Festival President's home which is on my way and saw that the Wishing Well from this past year's traveling float was in her front yard and it really made me smile!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Flesh Obedient to the Spirit


Probably no one knows it better than Louise Lake, confined to a wheelchair for over thirty-five years as a victim of spinal and bulbar polio. The fact that she is even alive testifies to her courage, intelligence, and sheer willpower. Twice given up for dead, she told students she sometimes has to spend hours just getting up in the morning and preparing for bed at night.
Isn’t a body a burden on the spirit under such circumstances? Louise’s answer, given to the student body at Ricks College as she accepted the Exemplary Womanhood Award in 1976, gives us another perspective.
“I love my body. Why do I love my body so much? Because I have disciplined this flesh, and in times when normally it would have said, ‘Oh I can’t, this is too much, too difficult,’ I have said to my flesh, ‘Arise, you will get out of bed, you will prepare this, you will do that, you will attend this.’ And so the spirit has told the struggling flesh what to do and together they have mastered some of those situations. The flesh has been obedient and has come along to the spirit’s self-discipline.
“Do you think I’d want another body? No! This flesh has been trained and under inconvenience it has met challenges. I am so grateful for the … beautiful teaching of the resurrection that I may arise … with this same flesh perfected, cleansed, strengthened, ready because it has mastered some difficult things.”
From Fit Is More Than Not Fat, June 1978 Ensign by Phyllis C. Jacobson and Barbara Vance 

Friday, January 25, 2013

Helping or Hindering

I had a long conversation with a friend the other day about the line between doing too much for others and not doing enough.  She was trying to help a friend with her child and was babysitting her but it was starting to be for longer and longer periods of time.  She knows the child needs more attention based on various issues, but at what point does she let the mother know that it has become too much and how does she know when the mother is trying to take advantage of the situation.

It really is a sticky situation and the line between helping and hindering is a fine one.  I suggested that she come up with rules that she can live with like not taking the child over night during the week, only on weekends.  These rules help her establish boundaries to not get used by the mother but also give boundaries to the mother to make sure she doesn't take advantage of my friend's hospitality.

I have this quote in my therapy notes that I thought fit this situation really well.  It is from the book - Healing the Eight Stages of Life by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant, and Dennis Linn:

The person who just gives to others risks burn out, smothering others, and an empty inner life.  When caring for others is not in a healthy balance with caring for self, we can fall into any one of the following distorations of caring:  1) doing for others what they can do for themselves, 2) giving help others don't want or need, 3) giving help I don't want to give, and 4) I or the person helped expecting something but not asking for it. 

I have come to realize when I am crossing that fine line I am feeling resentment and that is my cue to stop what I am doing.  But for my friend, I think having a few rules in place before hand will help prevent getting to that point.  When I have moved into a resentment phase I am no longer helping that person, or myself either, I am hindering both of us.  Starting with a plan in place first and not going all co-dependent in the first place are both guides to be more of a help to others than a hinderance.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Really Hot Unicorns

 
We love watching Bunheads and this line was awesome:  "They're like two really hot unicorns."  It made me smile!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Temple Labors a Protection

I was fortified when our stake president quoted President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:  "No work is more of a protection to this Church than temple work and the family history research that supports it.  No work is more spiritually refining.  No work we do gives us more power. . . .  Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as  a people."  Feb. 2012 Ensign, My Family History Challenge, Cristina Alvear

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Just One Word

I have been in a funk the last few days and extremely tired the last few weeks and I keep wondering what is going on.  Is it the darkness of winter that is getting to me, is it all the holiday craziness or maybe the new addition to the family (even though extremely enjoyable, it has been emotional).  I know I haven't been doing much of my Breathe Strategies and I especially keep thinking about "E is for Energize" and that I haven't been doing energizing activities.  Well, I may never know what is draining me, but I do know that I need to do something about it, but I just haven't had the motivation or idea of what to do.

Then yesterday when I was reading my friend Haunani's blog (see "Stuff I Love" in my blog list) and she was talking about her one word for this year which is Launch.  She was talking about exactly how I was feeling and I started to wonder what would be my one word for this year.  I am not sure what I would pick for the whole year, but I did think about what I would pick as my one word for this week at least and that would be "first."

In the past I have used this scripture to guide me on what to do first:

But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.  3 Nephi 13:33

I felt like if I read my scriptures first, then everything else in my day would go well.  I have been struggling with how to have my day flow for a really, really long time.  I've tried exercising while reading my scriptures first, I've tried reading my scriptures and journaling first, I've tried doing my chores first and so on.  In the end I feel like I can't get my day flowing and the worst part is when I end up on the couch and I find myself there all day long.

So as I thought about "first" I decided that it is not only what I do first, but where I am first too.  So this morning I decided it is important for me to be in an energizing space first which is my scrapbook room.  I find when I am in there I become energized even if I start off just dragging.  For my birthday a few months ago I got this beautiful chair to put in there so that I could just sit and be comfy if I need to (versus the couch) and I find that even if I sit there for a long time, eventually I see something else I want to do in the room and before long the energy is flowing and I didn't even notice that I got moving.

I am not sure if "first" will become my word for the year, but it is definitely the word I am going to focus on for the next week.  I will go into my scrapbook room first and see what flows.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

San Diego Trip

In 1985 I took a trip with my roommate, Paula, and a friend of her's to San Diego.  We had so much fun!  This was my first trip ever to Disneyland and I had a blast!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I Am HIs Daughter & He Loves Me

I have come to enjoy the quiet.  I listen to the ocean waves and watch the sunset.  I literally stop and smell the roses.  I listen and act according to the guidance of the Spirit.  I am not afraid to be alone because I am not alone as long as I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  I see the Spirit of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in most everything I do.  "Through faith in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, you are not alone."  Those words have a new and profound meaning deep in my heart today, and I know without a doubt that I am never alone.  I am His daughter, and He loves me."  With Faith in God, I Am Never Along, by Donna Hollenbeck, February 2012 Ensign

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Breathe In Love, Breathe Out Hurt

As you may know, I have been working on learning how to love myself more and I keep a record every day on a 1-100 scale of how much I love myself with 100 being the top of loving myself.  I did start at 0 when I started this project.  I finally made it to 51, which is the tipping point, months ago and really struggled to get further than that.  One of my sisters suggested that my goal had been just to get to 51 and I hadn't readjusted my goal.  I realized that she was right, so I decided I needed the goal to get to 100.

So I started working again at making more of an effort to be kind to myself and to do thing that would encourage me to like myself more.  I made it up to 65 and I have been stuck at 65 for a really long time and I am not sure what I need to do next.

Over the last few years I have learned how to feel my feelings and really listen to myself and that has been a huge step in understanding myself and being kinder to myself.  Feeling your feelings, good and bad, is crucial to being a whole and healthy person.  In Fact, Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant, and Dennis Linn in their book "Healing the Eight Stages of Life" had this to say:

Recall a time when you felt deeply loved.  Reexperience the scene, breathing that love into yourself once again.  Now recall a time . . . when you were hurt.  Reexperience the scene, using all your senses to imagine it.  Get in touch with any feelings of hurt. . . .  Let Jesus join you in the scene.  Watch what he says and does for you.  Breathe in all the ways Jesus is loving you, and breathe out any hurt.

The word "Breathe" means so much more to me than just taking in air (see the side bar for more reasons why) and this suggested experience is really wonderful!  I've decided this week that I need to try and do this as much as possible.  I have also decided that I need to recall a time when I felt like I deeply loved myself and do the same thing with this experience. 

As I think about the time when I felt most loved, when I most loved myself and when I felt loved by my Savior it brings such an amazing feeling inside.  So this week, breathe in all the love and breathe out all the hurt!  What a cool thing to do!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Adam's Arrival Date

 
In Adam's email this week he was able to tell us his mission release date so I updated it on his blog on Monday and it said there were only 99 days left until he comes home, that truly made me smile!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Exchange Robes for Rags

“For what man among you having twelve sons, and is no respecter of them, and they serve him obediently, and he saith unto the one: Be thou clothed in robes and sit thou here; and to the other: Be thou clothed in rags and sit thou here—and looketh upon his sons and saith I am just?” (D&C 38:26)  There are many sisters who are living in rags—spiritual rags. They are entitled to gorgeous robes, spiritual robes, . . . it is your privilege to go into homes and exchange robes for rags. . . . For a home teacher or a visiting teacher to accept a responsibility of four, five, six, or seven homes, and leave them in their spiritual rags and tatters is without excuse.   President Spencer W. Kimball, A Vision of Visiting Teaching

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Making and Reviewing Goals

We had some really good talks in church recently about making goals.  I guess it is a good topic for this time of year, but these talks were a little more than that.  One of the speakers was a recently returned missionary and he talked about how the missionaries use goals all the time.  They make daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals and yearly goals.  But what I felt like the important thing was that the missionaries then review daily, weekly, monthly and yearly on how their goals are progressing.  I remember reading this in the Preach My Gospel when my son first went out on his mission, it was the whole "Return and Report" thing that had really impressed me, but I had forgotten about that until this talk.  We can't just make goals, we need to review them consistently to see how we are doing.  So as I sat there in church that day, I put some notes on my ipad and specifically put down daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals.  Then I put down a way to assess those goals, or as I like to say "quantify" them.  I know so often we hear that we don't want to be a number, but I really believe you need to in order to quantify it, to see how well you are doing.

If you know me, you know that I love lists, I don't know why, but lists are just my thing, they help me organize my thoughts and help me to accomplish more in my day.  In the past, I lived for my lists, but then I went to the other extreme and just ignored them.  Well, I decided it was time to get back to my lists and I started a daily To Do list on my ipad (can I just say I love my ipad, I've had it for a year now and my whole life is in it all in one place).  I just helps me to stay focused, make my goals for the day and I delete them if I accomplished them so I can see just how well I did.  Then I create a new one before I go to bed or when I get up first thing in the morning.

As for my weekly and monthly goals, I am using the calendar on my ipad for that.  I have the items as repeats on my calendar and then as I accomplish them, I delete them off my calendar.  If it is sitting there, I still need to do it.  Some days I have to play a little catch-up or I allow myself to delete the item completely and not feel guilty about it.

My yearly goals are actually a bigger version of my monthly goals, so if I accomplish those, I should be able to accomplish my yearly goals.  It feels like a really good plan, we will just have to see how well I do on as the year goes on.  The good thing about goals, if you don't succeed, just try again!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Skype from Brazil

 
So it's not a great picture, but Skyping on Christmas Day with my son who is in Brazil made me smile!