Monday, December 31, 2012

Playing With Mia

I haven't really been posting current pictures of me on my All @ Me project, but I thought these were fun!  It is me with my Grandniece Mia.  You can tell she poses for these types of pictures a lot as at age 2 whe knew what we were doing with the camera pointing at us, so fun!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Mother's Are The Guardians

You are the guardians of the hearth, you are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God. President Gordon B. Hinkley

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Anxiety Free

Here are some of my notes from a book I read, I think it was called Anxiety Free (usually I am better at taking down titles and authors, not sure why I didn't here).  My anxiety has been almost non-existent for months, but the last few weeks it started kicking in a little, must be the holiday craziness, anyway I thought this would be helpful for me to review:

All our fears-no matter how irrational they may seem to us today-are in some sense survival based.

The key to reducing fear is to see that the fear you are experiencing does not apply to the reality you are facing.  And the way to see this is to actually experience that reality in a context of safety.  You need to practice your fears.

Evolution . . . wants us to be super careful . . . it instructs us not to relax our vigilance just because a ccertain peril we have been imagining has so far failed to materialize.  This is critical to our understanding of anxiety.  What we think of as an anxiety "disorder" -a kind of quirky deviation from the norm-is really not an aberation at all but simply the natural result of our evolutionary history. . . .  What we are being asked to do is to modify our primal insincts in a way that fits our present day reality. 

Security check questions: 1) what would most people do? 2) What would most people think is reasonable?  3) what are the probabilities that things will work out okay?

Old & New Rules:  1) OLD-detect danger; NEW-see things realistically; 2) OLD- catastrophize danger; NEW-normalize consequences; 3) OLD-control the situation; NEW-let go of control you are always looking for some way to take control because you fear that things will get out of control . . . but the biggest area of your control is your belief that you need to control your thoughts, emotions and sensations.  You try to suppress and neutralize any obessions you have-bad thought, stop that, or I didn't mean that.  It won't work . . . by practicing letting go of control you can learn that your thoughts, sensations and anxious emotions will decrease on their own.

Stand back and observe.  Observe.  Doln't control . . . gowith it rather thanstruggle against it.  Your anxiety is actually your resistance to your anxiety.;  You don't have to control it, you have to accept it.

4) avoid or escape your Anxiety NEW-Embrace your anxiety you have to go thorugh it to get past it.

Instead of waiting until you're "ready" for something, you'll look for opportunities to confront it right away.

you will learn that anxiety is not really a threat at all.  It's more like a false alarm going off, warning you of nothing - simply an irritating noise.

Your old rule told you that anxiety escalates the more you allow it in.  The new rule says that if you cease to feed your anxiety, if you stop giving it energy, it runs out of steam pretty quickly.

Anxiety is like a headache-iot lasts for awhile and then goes away.

Worry=preparation (trying to anticipate and avoid danger)

Worry was a tool and a strategy to avoid catastrophe.

Worry, in addiiton to being a strategy to fend off disaster is also a way of blocking your emotions.  You are thinking not feeling.  You are trying to think your way out of discomfort.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Engrossed in Gifts

My two girls engrossed in their Christmas gifts made me smile!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Crosby Family Christmas - Part 2

I couldn't help adding the rest of the Crosby Family Christmas morning pictures, these are all in black and white so they are a little older than last week's pictures.  Merry Christmas Crosby family!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Couseling With Heavenly Father

"I began counseling with Heavenly Father in the morning, telling Him that I didn't know what the day would bring but that I would do my very best.  'Whatever I can learn, allow me to learn it,' I prayed, 'but no matter what, I'm going to give Thee my very best today."  At night I would pray again to report on what I had studied and what I had done.  I shared with my Father in Heaven my struggles and my successes alike.  I had begun to turn to Him--not to others or even myself--to validate my progress."  Jan. 2012 Ensign, Look Up, by Carl B.Cook

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Affirming Others

Today turned out to be a very interesting day.  It started out with Christmas shopping with my daughter.  We pretty much finished everything, so we headed home to do some wrapping when we started getting messages from someone that we care about who was in a very difficult situation.  We have been counseling with her for some time and trying to help her through this challenge in her life and today turned out to be a major pivotal moment for her.  We dropped everything we were doing to go and help her.  It was a difficult moment for her and thus for us too because we could feel her pain, but because we care about her, we were able to help her.

In the past I would have not only wanted to help, but I would also have found a co-dependent way to try and fix everything for her too.  It was wonderful to be a support, but not a fixer.  As I thought about our day it brought to mind saddness, anger and finally joy at being to help our friend.  I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about and, of course, our experience today was all I could think about and wasn't sure it was something I wanted to share, then I ran across this quote:

There are four moments in the process of affirmation.  To affirm another, first we must see goodness in ourselves because someone has affirmed us.  If we cannot see goodness in ourselves we will not see it in others. . . .  The second moment in affirming another is that we notice the unique goodness and loveableness of that person, and are quietly present to it. . . .  The third moment of affirmation is to be delighted by it, without wanting to grab or possess or change the other to gratify our own needs. . . .  In the fourth and final moment of affirmation we let our delight in another's goodness show, especially in non-verbal ways.  From the book Healing the Eight Stages of Life by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant, and Dennis Linn

Being in such a better state, both mentally and physically, I was really able to help this friend.  I had affirmed myself enough that I could affirm her and that felt really good to be able to do for someone else.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Jib Jab Smiles

I miss my son so much and my husband though making a Jib Jab with him in it to one of my favorite videos would cheer me up, it did, it truly made me smile!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Crosby Family Christmas - Part 1

I loved Christmas mornings with my sisters, it was always a feeling of excitement in my stomach, waiting for every one to get up so we could all go into the blocked off living room together!  These pictures are of several different years of Christmas mornings.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Meeting Them Again

We had two deaths in our ward this weekend, one yesterday and one today, in addition to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, I found great comfort in this quote:

"If I were to think, as so many think, that now that my beloved wife and my beloved parents are gone, that they have passed out of my life forever and that I shall never see them again, it would deprive me of one of the greatest joys that I have in life:  the contemplation of meeting them again, and receiving their welcome and their affection, and of thanking them from the depts of a greateful heart for all they have done for me."  Jan. 2012 Ensign, George Albert Smith:  He Lived as He taught, by Ted Barnes

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Worry Rule Book

Can you believe there are rules about worrying?  Okay, there aren't really rules, but we do seem to give ourselves worry rules.  I found these when I was reading one day and thought they were great, so here are the Worry Rules:

1 - You need absolute certainty
2 - There is danger all around you
3 - You have to be ready to respond
4 - You have to be in control
5 - If a worry pops into your head then you have to do something about it
6 - You need to avoid any emotional discomfort
7 - You need the answer right now
8 - You can't live in the present moment
9 - You need to avoid doing things that make you anxious, you escape your anxiety by worrying

Aren't they great?!  I have so used every single one of these rules as I have worried about anything and everything throughout my life.  I still struggle with a lot of them, especially numbers 4 and 7.  So what do we do about these rules?  They aren't a great way to live, well as I read on, this is what I found:

To overcome worrying: 
1 - Build motivation, make up a list of things you can do.  If you get things done, you will have less to worry about.  Action is different than worry.  Act-don't worry.
2 - Challenge your thinking, what action can I take today:  What's the advantage of doing what I don't want to do, but needs to be done?
3 - Set aside worry time and test your predictions, set aside 2 minutes per day to write down your worries.  After the first week use your worry time to write out predictions.  At the end of each week write down the actual outcomes. 
4 - Validate your emotions keep a journal of emotions.  Any time you become aware of a feeling write it down together with the situation that triggered it.  Try not to comment on the feeling in any way.  Either carry your journal around with you or make a point of writing in it every day for 10 minutes or so at a time-if possible several times a day.  At each interval the main feelings you remember.  Your being able to feel them is absolutely crucial to overcoming your General Anxiety Disorder.  The more you are able to feel them, the less you need t keep them at bay through worrying.

Aren't they great?!  My favorite line in that quote is "action is different than worry, act-don't worry."  I think the biggest thing I have learned about worrying is that I need to connect the emotion I am feeling with that worry and then decide if there is some way I can act on it, if not, I have to let it go.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

New Valance

My new valance in my scrapbook room makes me smile so much!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Renae and Renee

Yes, it is true, I had a roommate named Renee and here we are with our Valentine's Day roses.  I was living with Renee when I first met my husband and the funny thing is that they had met each other at college so the first time that he called me I kept asking him if he was sure that he had the right Renae and he said he was sure, so glad!
Not quite sure what we are doing in this picture, trying to show off legs I suppose, I guess I had the advantage since I was wearing shorts.  :)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Loosening the Bands of Addiction Through the Scriptures

While battling an addiction to food, Susan Lunt of Utah, USA, prayed for help.  She turned to the Book of Mormon and read that Nephi was delivered from bands his brothers had tied around his hands and feet:  "O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me . . . ; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.  "And it came to pass that l. . . the bands were loosed" (1 Nephi 7:17-18).  "This scripture described exactly how I felt--bound with bands of addiction," Susan wrote.  "Nephi's tangible bands were immediately loosed when he asked for deliverance.  My bands were intangible and I didn't overcome my addiction in a moment, but as I read those words, I felt something shift inside me.  I felt as if the bands around my heart, mind, and body had been loosened, and I knew that I could overcome my addiction."  Susan has made great progress and, because of the inspiration she found in the Book of Mormon, has been able to break other habits that held her bound, including anger, selfishness, and pride.  "I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God," she explained, "and that the answer to any of life's questions can be found within the pages of that book."

from January 2-12 Ensign, Finding Answers in the Book of Mormon, by Sara D. Smith

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Mitral Valve Prolapse

I have been free of so many anxiety symptoms for months now and it has been wonderful, but just the last little while anxiety has been starting to sneak in.  I am not really sure why, but I feel really tired and drained and will have sudden bouts of feeling like I am having a hard time breathing.  One of the major noticeable symptoms is that my heart starts to hurt.  When I first started feeling heart pains I was afraid I was having a heart attack, but now I know better.  It is just heart pains from a Mitral Valve Prolapse that I have and when I am having anxiety my heart starts to beat faster and it is just a little to much for that prolapsed mitral valve and so it hurts. 

Despite knowing that the heart pain isn't anything to worry about, doesn't diminish the fact that it is uncomfortable and I don't like it when it happens.  Understanding the issues that can come with a Mitral Valve Prolapse has been very helpful for me.  In fact, here are some of the symptoms:  panic attacks, anxiety, fatigue, palpitations, chest pain, migraines, depression.

What am I supposed to do about the problem?  Well, take care of myself and do things to help with the anxiety as well as these other suggestions:  avoid caffeine and sugar, have a high fluid intake (at least 64 oz), exercise (30 min/day 5 days/week) and sometimes medication can be required.

One other thing that I have to remember is that with the symptoms of fatigue, sometimes resting actually makes it worse as I read online that sometimes "fatigue begets more fatigue, the less you do, the less you feel like doing; the cause of the fatigue may relate to blood volume changes noted with exercise, to a high resting heart rate, or to other physiological factors."  So getting up and getting moving is the best thing for me and doing something active also helps to release anxiety.

It is such a challenge to remember these things, so it was really nice to run across my notes about Mitral Valve Prolapse to refresh my mind with the things I need to do to help take care of myself!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Alta Mesa Boyz lip sync, One Direction "What Makes You Beautiful" by 3x...

These Young Men are so adorable, they just make me smile and I know they made the Young Women in their Stake smile too!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Scuba Diving

I'm not a very adventurous person, but I had won a free scuba diving trip so I took lessons and these are pictures of me on the trip in the water by San Celemente Island in California.  I can't believe I actually did this, but for some reason it wasn't as scary as just swimming because I could see and breathe not to mention I think the pictures are just cool! 

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Don't Look Sideways

"I think the challenge for all of us--but perhaps particularly for young adults-- is to try not to looksideways to see how others are viewing our lives but to look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us.  He doesn't look on the outward appearance but on the heart.  And He knows, better than anyone else, what each one of us needs."  Jan 2012 Ensign, Look Up, Carl B. Cook