Thursday, September 8, 2011

12 Steps

Learning how to break the co-dependent cycle is not an easy thing, but following the Co-Dependents Anonymous ("CoDA") 12 steps can really help.  There are even CoDA meetings that you can attend.  I got the book Co-Dependents Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melodie Beattie and really found it helpful.  In the book it says to "practice daily recovery behaviors" which includes the CoDA 12 Steps, such as:

  • Tell the truth about ourselves to ourselves, to another person and to God in an attitude of self-responsibility, acceptance and forgiveness 
  • Reconnect with ourselves, God and others 
  • Recognize needs and bring it to people 
  • Tell God about ourselves - who I am, what I want, need, feel, going through, worried about, fears, hopes, old beliefs, what I can't deal with, what I can't do and what I need help with 
  • Let go, give to God and start your day 
  • Focus on right not wrong 
  • Meditate and center yourself, be balanced 
  • Pray for knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry that through, then let go 
  • Set goals 
  • Use affirmations 
  • Feel our feelings when they arise, love and nurture ourselves as many times each day and each our as we need loving, nurturing and accepting, say thank you for everything, ask for what we want and need, then complete the process buy saying, "thy will be done" and trust what happens 
  • Be still, be quiet, ask for guidance, ask what do I need to do to take care of myself, then listen and trust what you hear 
  • We never have to do anything we can't, we never have to do anything before its time, and when its time, we will do it 
 In the beginning, it took a lot of effort to follow these guides.  I would constantly have to remind myself to follow them.  It's a wonderful feeling when these steps start to come naturally!

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