My daughter loves this phrase, "what if . . ." and she comes up with amazing "what if's." What if . . . everyone walked around with their arms in the air. What if . . . the sky was really green, but we just call it blue. I don't think a day goes by without her coming up with some sort of what if. I have realized that when I use the phrase "what if . . ." it is more like a curse. Her imagination is fun and light, mine seems to be dark and dreary.
I was trying to figure out my morning routine schedule one day last week and that is when it hit me that my "what if's" were not good, they were a co-dependent crutch. I was thinking that I wanted to take my showers every morning at 7:00 am, but then I thought, "what if . . . my husband doesn't have to go to work until later and needs the shower at 7:00 am instead, so . . . I can't shower at that time, what time will work?" I really hate it when I realize I am doing something co-dependent and as soon as I finished my thought, I realized how co-dependent that was. Just because I'm home all day doesn't mean that I have to wait until everyone else has used the shower before I can take mine. I resolved to change that thought, but then I started thinking about the phrase "what if . . ." and suddenly realized how often I was using it.
I can't use my ipod because, "what if . . ." someone needs me and I can't hear them. I can't be down in my scrapbook room because, "what if . . ." someone comes to the door and I can't hear the doorbell. I can't exercise first thing in the morning because, "what if . . ." I'm too noisy and bother someone. And so on, I was shocked to think about how often I was putting off things I enjoy and wanted to do because I might bother someone or be in their way. So no more co-dependent "what if's" time for some of my daughter's type of "what if's."
What if . . . I listened to my ipod and danced around, enjoyed myself and felt happy. What if . . . I just showered every day at 7:00 am, my husband can plan around me if he has a late day. What if . . . everyone walked backwards instead of forwards, wouldn't that be funny!